Nocturne #37 – Season Two Begins at 30

Two weeks ago, I turned 30. Meaning, I can officially say I’m no longer a “promising young man.” Now I’m just a person who does something, or nothing. The journey has begun. 🚀

If before I could fool myself with “I’ll do something cool in the future,” now that “future” is here, looking at me and slapping me across the face, backhanded. Yet almost nothing changes; I am who I was the day before yesterday, except a few hairs on my head and beard have turned white. The truth is, you know, you can feel the beginning of something new? These 30 years were just the first season – a pilot, shot without a budget, lacking proper direction and editing. And now, season two begins.

No, this isn’t a “tendency towards nostalgia.” Nor is it that the “train has already left the station.” Nor that I’m late for everything. I haven’t missed anything, nothing has ended. But for the first time, I feel like “Now I need to lift my ass and do something!”

Today I already know: Goals don’t fulfill themselves. If I don’t change something, 40-year-old Zurab will send 30-year-old Zurab a voice message and curse him out thoroughly. “One day I’ll do something cool” – is no longer a useful thought.

And amidst these thoughts, I suddenly remember that as a child, I thought I’d have a Ferrari by age 30. No, there’s no Ferrari. But instead, I have a very beautiful coffee cup that I bought on sale at the supermarket yesterday. I’m sitting now and enjoying it deliciously. Tea. 😏 I look at this cup, turn it in my hands, and think: “Yeah… life turned out differently…”

As a child, I thought that by age 30 I’d be a genius on a global scale. You know, the kind whose name is written in scientific papers and movie credits. And now? Okay… let’s not delve too deep into this topic. 😅

But the fact is, I know some things: There’s nothing particularly special about the moment of turning 30, as I expected in childhood. I didn’t manage to do some things I thought I would. Instead, I learned a lot, and my brain is now crammed with tons of useless information that, who knows, might come in handy sometime, somewhere. And that, somehow, is good.

In the previous decade, I thought I’d start something from a certain year, from the first day of some month, from Monday. I based everything on symbols, but FUCK IT! Damn it! Start today! Now I realize – no matter what’s written in the script, the most interesting episodes still come from improvisation.

Over the last 30 years, I’ve overcome countless difficulties, crossed out countless things, but the one thing I’ve never lost is the hidden hope that everything will be okay. And this hope isn’t based on religion, self-help books, or motivational speakers teaching “three steps to becoming a millionaire.” This hope comes from the fact that, even today, my sense of humor hasn’t disappeared. I can still laugh a lot at myself, I can still turn my failures into precious stories. I still know that whatever happens, my life is simultaneously a comedy and a drama.

And the main thing is, at age 30, I finally realize: There is no single right path. Nor does it matter who achieved what, when. Nor where or how I “should” be, or “should have been.” Whether you’re 20, 30, or 50 Everyone is the same: some just have “this damn path” better organized.

For some, 30 is just a number. For me? It’s a new stage, with more responsibility, more goals, more madness, and cooler stories to tell. So, my friend, let’s begin. The new season starts now. 🚀