Nocturne #43 – NPCs with Infinite Storylines

A few days ago, I walked through the city alone. No music, no headphones, no plan – just my feet and instinct. And this instinct, like a guide, led me in the strangest direction – into myself.

Wandering the streets, I look at people’s faces and realize that everyone has gone through something, everyone has their own adventures and history. Look at that courier, with an orange box on his back, proudly stopping his moped; he went up to the sixth floor only to find the order was sent to the wrong address. Now he’s talking on the phone, wiping sweat, explaining to the dispatcher that the customer is calling him saying, “Bro, I said Paliashvili Street, not Rustaveli!” Look at that lady begging near Freedom Square, holding a small icon and a paper with a QR code; two minutes ago, a passerby taught her how to check her balance on her phone. She says digital technologies don’t even contradict the church if it’s for a good cause, plus nobody carries change these days. Finally, an Armenian tourist transferred 50 GEL to her, and now she’s calculating if it’s enough for her blood pressure medication. Two snobbish friends at McDonald’s, seemingly talking about diving on Bali’s beaches, but actually, one is telling the other, “I swear, yesterday I saw Nutsa’s husband walk into ‘Gino’ alone, and then the same girl sat down with him, the one he called a ‘trainer’ last week, but her panties said Burberry, and if she’s a trainer, then I’m an astronaut!” An old man sitting on a bench on Rustaveli, turning a folded newspaper in his hands, comes here every day. Nobody knows he’s a former scientist who invented something important during the Soviet era, but the state appropriated the patent. Now he breathes semi-oxygenated air, watches the youth, and creates a parallel version of his life in his mind – where he went to America in the 90s and became a millionaire.

Yeah… no one is empty; everyone is loaded with infinite information, with endlessly intertwined logics. And when I walk like this, it seems to me that this is some kind of role-playing mode. As if I’m a video game character and can interact with everyone, but with unlimited narrative scenarios, not limited to one of four randomly prepared storylines. Perhaps, to draw a parallel, we are all equal NPCs endowed with our own boundless intellect and perception. For example, I can scan this modern grandma’s QR code and transfer 100 GEL, I can ask the courier about his moped’s specs, I can find Nutsa’s husband and convince him that if he doesn’t love his wife, he should just leave her, I can become the heir to the old scientist’s secret invention – a tiny “mini-story” with everyone.

And yet, the strangest thing was the feeling when I smiled. Not about anything specific – but about the fact that I existed in this miniature chaos, in the labyrinth of traffic lights, street musicians, and love hidden in eyes. I walked through the park, where someone was sleeping, someone was experiencing separation, and someone was simply playing with a colorful ball. We were all in the same world. On the same stage, with different roles. It was precisely then that I felt that strange sensation – I wanted to forgive everyone for everything. Yes, I looked at them like the Father in Heaven and, with my own weakness, forgave them, whatever sins they might have had. Because in each of them, I saw myself – with fears, desires, expectations, and incomprehensible burdens.

I sat down in a cafe by a misted window and enjoyed my favorite meal, looking outside, and I felt like something. As if some director wrote my scene – with exactly this lighting, exactly that atmosphere, and those feelings that only I felt. When I finished my snack, I got up and continued moving with a more elevated mood, satiated and self-satisfied, I went outside. I was alone, but I wasn’t alone – it felt as if cinematic cameras were moving around me on rails, capturing this radiant face that said nothing – it smiled and implied that I love this motherfucking world.

So, that day I realized: life itself is a video game, only – you are the sole player and the sole audience. And every momentary choice, every smile, every interaction – is a Level Up for your subconscious.

Yeah, okay… enough for today… I have no idea why I’m writing this; it’s already dawn, and the “Nocturne” has turned into a “Aubade”. I think I’ve completely lost my mind and gone insane.

By the way, yeah… if anyone ever asks me where I found God – I found Him on the street. In people’s eyes. Even in those who don’t appreciate love. Even in those who hurt me. There is something beautiful in every face. And I believe that if I look closely enough – one day I will see it in myself too. Amen.