Nocturne #12 – Side Effect of Love
Life without love is simple - quiet and predictable. But is it worth living like this? This is a story about love, as the most exciting and, at the same time, the most painful choice. Thinking about why its colors and chaos are preferable to safe tranquility, and how even suffering can turn into a source of strength.
I don’t want my Nocturnes to sound like toasts at a dinner table, but I want to say something about… love…
Love is neither vertical nor rotational (probably) — (Reversed iconic phrase from Georgian movie — “Sherekilebi”). Love is the most thrilling and intimate feeling, an ability, a talent you either have, or you don’t. For me, it is both faith and religion, both art and science.
In reality, love is the heaviest drug. When you have it, you’re in a state of euphoria; you see colors you never noticed before. But when it’s far away, the withdrawals begin. You physically feel as if you can’t get enough air, as if you have shortness of breath and the energy of life is being drained from you.
Of course, a life without love is much simpler. Calm, stable, predictable. But love is so ingenious, so colorful and alive, that it’s worth it. It’s worth the suffering, worth being constantly on edge.
And lately, I’ve started to like this state. I like that my body can just lie there, non-functional, while my soul is at a ‘super-duper’ gym session. It’s working out, developing muscles, getting stronger. Every moment of longing, every pain, every hope — is another “lifted barbell.”
So, yes… I love and enjoy all of this. I love and enjoy the side effects it causes… because I can feel myself growing.